They don’t say it. Their actions show it. Too many young men are not hotly pursuing marriage. Why not?



Too many young adults are on their own. Father, call your son into his destiny. Teach him to work hard so he goes to bed tired. Teach him to honor women by honoring his mother and respecting his sister. Teach him not to grab the remote control when he gets home. Exhort him to get married. Tell him he wouldn’t exist if you did what he is doing.


Young men need courage. A father can speak that into him. He wonders if he has what it takes. Dad, tell him he does-or put it in him. Don’t stop meeting with him. Speak to his identity in God. Your responsibility is to see that he marries well. Show concern if he dates someone who would not make a good wife. Is it your business? Absolutely! If he is thinking about moving in with his girlfriend after sleeping with her, tell him that is wrong. He does that AFTER he gets married.


Hey, it’s not easy.  Some aren’t willing to go for it. The Bible says, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Finding means looking. It means asking, even if you are scared. I don’t know of any other way it happens. Plenty of godly women out there. Not enough men with courage to ask and keep asking. Someone is going to say yes. Agree with God that you will be married by the end of 2017! Girls can help by giving clues if they are interested and letting a guy know through a friend if they are not.



Some guys value ministry above marriage. I did. I was in la-la land until I was 31, content to preach and counsel–until my mentor stopped me in my tracks by saying, “Time to get married.” Really thankful. Hey, she said “yes.” It not only beats ministry–it IS ministry!




Talk to them about your marriage. Include the hard stuff. Urge them not to put it off. The longer they wait, the less likely that they will get married. Don’t only hang with couples.



Start early. Show them a good marriage so they want what you’ve got. Encourage them not to wait long. If they are balking, find out why. Let them know that you are there to help, but they need to go from paralysis to pursuit.



Fear has them stifled. Help them break through to success. I got in the face of six young leaders sitting in my living room. I said to them one at a time, “Get married.” Five of six did.



Do a double date. Help out shy friends. Show them to fish in the right pond, to stay in their league. I have been able to help a few reluctant ones, and they are VERY thankful!
I feel for all the quality single women who will make great partners. Not fair for them to wait so long. Help speed up the process with your prayers, counsel, and exhortations. Give this blog to a reluctant guy. He will thank you when he gets married! Dear young adult man: Marriage is God’s good idea! He can help get you there. Trust Him!


  1. dreck07 says:

    Paul, I know of a young couple that really needs a push down the aisle (or toward it). You didn’t mention their reasons for hesitation. His is uncertainty about his future and his ability to support a wife – he wants a stable job before adding the responsibility to provide for a spouse. Her reason is the wounds left by her parents’ divorce. She does not want to replicate that pain. They also have some cultural differences to work through, and I can see wisdom in spending some time working on these before commiting to life together. It’s a challenge to know how hard to push.

    • panderon says:

      That’s a tough one. Typically, guys who marry do better in the work place. Smart couples do better together than alone, unless, as you say, there are serious emotional issues that could slow them down.

  2. […] Sam Wellumson: Matthew 3:13-17 – You Want Me to Do What? * Paul Anderson: I Kissed Marriage Goodbye * Christian Mattmann: Searching deep and dark: Building a Google for the less visible parts of the […]

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